why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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