I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
