First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
