i need an iv and a liver transplant
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
