Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
