hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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