I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
