hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize