I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
