They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
