new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
