You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
