"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize