Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
