I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
