Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
