Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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