flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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