Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
