In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
