So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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