I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
