i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize