Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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