Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
this beer tastes like vomit already
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
