I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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