Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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