return my video game
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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