Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
