It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
