Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
