Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
