The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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