You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
