well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
