its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
