So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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