I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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