I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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