naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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