Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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