hell yes lets make some ravioli
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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