I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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