i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
