It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
