Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
