i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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