Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
