another moral hangover. fuck.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize