She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
