This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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