I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
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You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
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THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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