saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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