I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
