well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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