kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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