If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Randomize
