i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My dick has a subreddit
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
