The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You need a sexual gate keeper
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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