I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
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