I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
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