I think im going to throw up on grandma
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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