whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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