But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Cold hands, warm shart.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
