I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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