Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
