Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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