where am i from again
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
