I think my vagina is haunted
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
