so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
