My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
